???

I have a question.

Does anyone actually read any of this stuff here? Quite honestly, I often find myself questioning the purpose if it goes unread. Sometimes I suppose I do write just for me. However sometimes I have things that I wish people would read, so they could share and render opinions.

Every now and then I feel like I have some important things to say. Some pearls to share with others. Maybe this thing is broken? Or perhaps I am an incorrigible boor? Am I perceived as far too arrogant to be worth reading? How does that bode for my current book project? (If I am hated before I’m published, that would be bad yes?)

In any event, the truth is on those rare occasions when I am actually able to sit down here and write I feel free. I can do anything. Create anything, any world, any technology, and any of an infinite number of characters and situations. Sometimes the words just pour from my mind like a broken pipe, and I find it difficult to stem the flow.

Often if I stop the process prior to its natural conclusion, I find myself unable to write effectively for weeks at a time. Sometimes the blockage even lasts months. (No this doesn’t explain my intermittent postings, this blog is far removed from my novel)
In any event I think it might be nice on occasion to know someone was reading.

Well, glad to have gotten that off my chest! (As if someone cared) In any event, I’m sure there will be more to follow.

Insomniablog

Well, here I am again, having an insomniac attack. My mind is refusing to relax and let me have some peace. Oddly enough, I saw a Scientific American in the PX with an article on black holes, and more specifically how space-time may be a kind of fluid. Why is this odd? Only because it completely fits into the novel I am writing. In fact I had worked out some interesting theories and supposition for my book based on that very subject. I had no earthly idea it was being researched.

Basically the premise is that sound waves in a fluid behave exactly like light waves in space. The research was directed that way due to the incompatibility of general relativity and quantum mechanics. (You know, gravity, general relativity and space-time being curved, which doesn’t lend itself to quantum mechanics)

Thus far the research seems to contradict Einstein’s theory, and suggests that may be granular like a material fluid. The research seems to support Dr. Stephen Hawking’s theories regarding black holes. The point of all this you ask? It seems to make the science fiction of my novel into science, and provides a great deal of interesting reading and research for my book.

This is a double edged sword however, due to the fact that now I will have a great deal of revising and fact checking to do, to ensure accuracy. As I have stated before, writing a book is one of the most difficult tasks I have ever undertaken. I suppose many folks think that science fiction stories are completely make believe, and it would therefore be easy to create them. This is absolutely not true. The best science fiction stories contain a great deal of theoretical science as well as science fact.

This gives these stories a believability and realism that causes the reader to become fully immersed and involved in the story. I can only hope to achieve this effect with my novel, and I am working hard toward that goal. I do suppose there is a time when I need to stop the revising and let the story flow to finish it. However I am a stickler for detail. I want scientists and laymen alike to enjoy the story.

Perhaps I should unfuck myself and take some mathematics classes. I seem to have a knack for science and physics. It’s that math part that whips my ass. Then I could accurately troubleshoot my own work? Now there’s a thought. Why does my brain work this way? Perhaps I’ll never know.

The most difficult thing for me to understand is why is it so difficult to get the story from my mind to the written word. In my head the entire story is all George Lucas and Stephen Spielberg. I can see the worlds in my head, the characters, the objects, everything. The problem is getting from there to here in a manner which others will understand.

It may be clear in my mind, and a clear story to me, but I have to present it to everyone else. Therein lies the rub. I have copious notes and other jottings, but good luck in organizing those! The NSA should hire me to create code. My notes alone are unbreakable. Well, I am going to try to get some shuteye.

Blogless

Well, it’s been some time since I last posted here, and I’m guessing by now that my loyal fan base must be absolutely champing at the bit for my next bit of prose. (That is if I had any quantifiable fans to speak of, or was aware of.) Perhaps someday I’ll actually come up with something worth reading. Well, worth reading to someone else anyway.

In all actuality, I have been extremely busy and extremely depressed of late, and the holidays are not at all helpful in this regard. I’m quite sure that many can relate to that. My job has taken a decidedly stressful and lackluster turn for me, and combined with other events of my life, some of which you’ll find posted here, have taken me to a dark place.

The worst part is the not being able to see or speak to my children. I think often of what they may be doing at any given moment, and there is a sense of overwhelming happiness, followed immediately by crushing depression. My personal favorite. Not. I think it is fair and accurate to say that divorce law is the most unfair and unjust law there is. No offense to any of the women who may or may not be reading this, but it is also quite woman centric. This is disturbing on several levels.

My job here has become the doldrums, and I am unable to catch a breeze to push me out. The leadership has improved neither in intelligence or common sense, and the priorities of those who make decisions astound me. Since we have move to this installation in September my two shops have been without electrical power, so I am unable to use the machinery necessary to support customers and the mission.

Somehow it is more important to my leadership to do things like paint traffic lines in parking lots, (quite literally) or park vehicles on line dress right dress rather then getting involved with ensuring that the electrical connectivity is installed so I can work. The logic of this escapes me. I have more than 1 million dollars of Army equipment sitting useless in my maintenance shop, and it has been so since September.

Apparently my complaints, work order requests, and reports of inability to do my job have either fallen on deaf ears, or are perceived as complaining and whining. How ludicrous is that? I am responsible to support customers and keep soldiers gainfully employed. The tools I use to effect that charge are welding machines, metal working machines, and an assortment of other tools that are all powered by electricity in order to function. You’d think someone would have an interest in helping me be successful.

Well, once again it is my intention to attempt to post here more often and regularly, however the success of that is all based on this thing I like to call my life. Some times I just don’t have the heart for it, and sometimes I’m far too angry to. I try to leave meaningful and valuable things here so it isn’t just wasted time and words. It’s difficult to be far more intelligent than most of the people you work with and for.

Stay tuned.