Momentary lapse of a reason

Well, here I am again, in the final hour and minutes of another Staff Duty shift. The second in as many days. I had intended to post last night while here at the desk, but was unable to come up with any original material to stimulate the mind. In actuality, truth be told I had a momentary lapse of a reason. I couldn't find it in me to post anything meaningful. Hell, I couldn't think of anything meaningless. That and my duties this evening last precluded me, as I was actually busy and unable to remain at the computer for any length of time.

In any event, I am here now on a crisp Thursday morning, delirious with lack of sleep, and I haven't had any coffee. I could kill you with my bare fingers. I could perhaps kill you with a stare at this point. Sleep deprivation combined with caffeine deprivation is a dangerous condition in humans. Especially this human. (Am I human?) As my tour drags to a close like wet sand paper across soft wood, I have found it to be uneventful, and therefore theoretically I should be able to leave here on time.

From here I will seek those necessities of life and function... Coffee, taken intravenously if possible, a shower, a razor, and some clean clothing. Sleep only if I really feel the need, because what is 24 hours without sleep really other than a night of hard partying? I have been working on a method by which to cook coffee down into rocks that can be smoked. In this way the caffeine can be taken straight into the bloodstream via the lungs. Extremely efficient don't you think? I ran some test using instant coffee, however I found these to be not nearly concentrated enough for my purposes.

Ill let everyone know how I progress. I think this Idea will take off like Starbucks. I'm quite certain Ill be able to sell them on every street corner! I'm thinking 5, 10, and 20 dollar bags depending on the users.... I mean customers habit.... Requirement for caffeine for the day. Who wants a piece of this action?

What happened?

Well, I guess that settles it! I posted asking for feedback, and waited an entire day for a response, and what do I get?? Nothing... nada... zip. As I sit here in the final hours of duty hoping I would have something by which to guide me in my pursuit to entertain my fans, I came to the striking realization that I HAVE NONE! Can you possible imagine how shattered I must be? My heart fractured and fragmented by the realization that no one at all reads my blog. Well, at the very least not regularly.

This serves to prove I am not nearly as clever as I thought myself to be I suppose. Or perhaps that I am not nearly so entertaining as I thought. Or perhaps people don't honestly give a shit about what I have to say here? Could it be a combination of all the aforementioned? How completely horrified I am to learn that the immense fan base I had envisioned in my head is precisely that... In my head! Does anyone have a spare xanax?

When coming to terms with ones self importance; Or lack thereof as it were, I find it helpful to self medicate. There are many fine and inexpensive forms of alcohol to choose from here in Korea. In particular the ever popular Soju has the unique effect of completely erasing all your short term memories from 12 to 24 hours prior to consumption. I think Ill start there.

Honestly folks, I'm just kidding, don't try to call anyone to track me down. I am writing these things at this point more to entertain myself and stay awake then to please my non existent public. I'm in the last hour and 15 minutes of my duty shift and I am beside myself with sleep deprivation! I honestly don't care if anyone reads the stuff here or not!! Ok, ok I do a little, but the Blog is more for me, a sort of therapy, then for others.

Well, have I blathered on sufficiently enough?? Perhaps me, myself, and I will have a discussion, and between the three of us come up with a suitably inflammatory topic to present here? On a closing note, a word of advice. If you receive an invitation to join the Vice Presidential Hunting Party.... DON'T DO IT.

Deja Vu Squared

Hello all you happy people. Once again I find myself in that familiar position. A holiday weekend, and me the Staff Duty NCO. I think that damn duty roster generation software must just like me a great deal. As always, being on these 24 hour duty shifts gives one time to reflect... To marinate if you will on events past. Normally this would be a source and cause for depression, and morbid thoughts of woefulness. However, I am feeling pretty good today!

For all you folks not in the same dateline, space time, or plain of existence as me, it's Sunday morning here in beautiful Uijeongbu in lovely South Korea. Fear not, I am keeping my eye on those pesky North Koreans, and I am ever vigilant. So feel free to do whatever things you normally do on the weekend without fear. (You weren't afraid anyway?? Oh... Carry on then.)

Ok, lets stoke the fire... Current events. What's going on in the news in the world and the U.S. that has the potential to get folks fired up?? Does anyone have a suggestion on what they'd like to discuss?? I'll be here all day!