My Blog, my therapy
We'll, how do I begin? Blogging, so many people do it for so many different reasons. I do it to remain mentally competant. A great and dear friend re-introduced me to it after having not been involved with blogging in any way in quite some time. I had been aware of blogging, and had experimented with it briefly several times, never with any serious commitment. One day after being asked to read this particular friend's blog, and being asked to create my own so it could be read, I gave it another shot.
There have been many, and vast improvements to the whole blogging experience since my ealier encounters, and I decided to stick with it. Since then, I have been attempting to post as regularly as I am able, and as often as my mood dictates. It has been a useful and helpful tool in combating stress, loneliness, and boredom in this extended period away from the states.
All that being said, it is distressing to me, while regrettable, that some of my friends should take is so personally and be so judgemental. I write what I feel, what I think, and what past experiences I have had. I recently wrote what was and is on my mind and heart, and my perspective of events. Im sorry this offended or hurt others, but this was necessary for me to do. Someone in particular clued me into getting these things out and dealt with, in order to obtain healing.
I am admittedly horrible about maintaining contact with anyone, including my parents, and even my own children, but that does not alter my past, or my feelings about it. I was not seeking an apology, or some for of restitution for it, but rather a forum in which to air my thoughts and feelings. Because I need to get them out. I have no one from whom to seek counsel here. I too have problems which I need to resolve.
These problems arent necessarily directed at, the fault of, or caused by anyone. They are issues I havent satisfactorily resolved. And I have lots of them. My particular career isnt at all conducive to seeking the help and advice of a mental health professional, or therapist. I do what I can, and I try to keep myself adjusted and centered. I would certainly never purposely identify someone in a forum so public as this. I would much rather speak to someone directly if there were issues that needed addressing. I believe I have in fact done that.
As far as contact, I have and do send many messages via messenger. I havent received any replies recently. In my mind, I was and am sure it is because of something I have said or done. I am well and fully aware of my flaws where relationships of any kind are concerned. As for sending emails, I hadnt ever really felt the need to send them, especially when I we spoke daily via messenger. This has not occured in quite some time. Pardon the error and misstatement of the period of time elapsed. My days and nights run together here like watercolors in the rain.
I apologize to those I may have hurt or insulted, that was not my intention. I do intend to continue to write here, and I intend to continue to do it as guided by my heart, thoughts, and events of my life dictate. To some degree this is my only contact with the world outside of Korea. My only means to be close to those things and people which are familiar to me. I cant begin to describe the events of my life in totality, especially those events of recent occurence.
I use this blog as a diary of sorts, in the hopes that people will read it and post comments that will provide solace and advise, criticism and insight, perhaps even answers.
Approximately 4 days ago my personal computer ceased functioning. Due to my current financial and marital status, each a by product of the other, I am unable to afford the troubleshooting and replacement parts to return it to working order. I may not be in contact with anyone for some time. I will post here as opportunities present themselves.
I am currently once again performing staff duty, which of course provides a minimum of 24 hours time for post things here and attempt to catch up. I will periodically attempt to check in when possible. For now I will close. Again my apologies to all concerned.
There have been many, and vast improvements to the whole blogging experience since my ealier encounters, and I decided to stick with it. Since then, I have been attempting to post as regularly as I am able, and as often as my mood dictates. It has been a useful and helpful tool in combating stress, loneliness, and boredom in this extended period away from the states.
All that being said, it is distressing to me, while regrettable, that some of my friends should take is so personally and be so judgemental. I write what I feel, what I think, and what past experiences I have had. I recently wrote what was and is on my mind and heart, and my perspective of events. Im sorry this offended or hurt others, but this was necessary for me to do. Someone in particular clued me into getting these things out and dealt with, in order to obtain healing.
I am admittedly horrible about maintaining contact with anyone, including my parents, and even my own children, but that does not alter my past, or my feelings about it. I was not seeking an apology, or some for of restitution for it, but rather a forum in which to air my thoughts and feelings. Because I need to get them out. I have no one from whom to seek counsel here. I too have problems which I need to resolve.
These problems arent necessarily directed at, the fault of, or caused by anyone. They are issues I havent satisfactorily resolved. And I have lots of them. My particular career isnt at all conducive to seeking the help and advice of a mental health professional, or therapist. I do what I can, and I try to keep myself adjusted and centered. I would certainly never purposely identify someone in a forum so public as this. I would much rather speak to someone directly if there were issues that needed addressing. I believe I have in fact done that.
As far as contact, I have and do send many messages via messenger. I havent received any replies recently. In my mind, I was and am sure it is because of something I have said or done. I am well and fully aware of my flaws where relationships of any kind are concerned. As for sending emails, I hadnt ever really felt the need to send them, especially when I we spoke daily via messenger. This has not occured in quite some time. Pardon the error and misstatement of the period of time elapsed. My days and nights run together here like watercolors in the rain.
I apologize to those I may have hurt or insulted, that was not my intention. I do intend to continue to write here, and I intend to continue to do it as guided by my heart, thoughts, and events of my life dictate. To some degree this is my only contact with the world outside of Korea. My only means to be close to those things and people which are familiar to me. I cant begin to describe the events of my life in totality, especially those events of recent occurence.
I use this blog as a diary of sorts, in the hopes that people will read it and post comments that will provide solace and advise, criticism and insight, perhaps even answers.
Approximately 4 days ago my personal computer ceased functioning. Due to my current financial and marital status, each a by product of the other, I am unable to afford the troubleshooting and replacement parts to return it to working order. I may not be in contact with anyone for some time. I will post here as opportunities present themselves.
I am currently once again performing staff duty, which of course provides a minimum of 24 hours time for post things here and attempt to catch up. I will periodically attempt to check in when possible. For now I will close. Again my apologies to all concerned.
posted by Josh at 3:04 PM
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